Turns out I probably would marry a tramp then...

I appear to have grown very emotionally attached to the tramp currently residing at l’Université de Nantes. I’ve got a lot of time for the guy, he keeps himself to himself, spends his day tidying his many many bags which are immaculately organised. A sad realisation – a tramp is tidier than myself. When we first arrived I got on my “moral high horse”  - “a tramp living outside a Uni, that’s disgusting you wouldn’t get this is Britain!” But i’ve really started to feel for the guy. I want to take a photo of him but i’m scared he’ll think I’m weird although he’s the one who stands facing the wall having what appears to be a very deep conversation with it.  I’ll get one up soon.

Liam: “Are you Claudine?”

An obscene amount of chocolate - continued..or shall we say finished?

WHY OH WHY is it so god damn easy to eat a 100g bar of chocolate in one sitting? WHY? I was under some deluded impression that being a resident of France would automatically make me skinny, as every bloody female here is. But AU CONTRAIRE indeed. When purchasing all this chocolate, for fear of friends judging me I told them all I was just stocking up and it will probably last ages...I bought it all on the 1^st October, it is now the 3^rd and I’ve polished it all off... TUBS.

As Jess quite nicely put it;

Don't underestimate her,

Because she is small,

A tube of smarties in ten seconds,

She can neck them all.

An OBSCENE amount of chocolate.

It would appear the heavens opened on Nantes for a good 36 hours non-stop. Resembling drowned rats, we went to a “potato restaurant” which was just what we needed. It was like a little taverny hut thing, amazing. My food came and there was 6 slices of raw chicken, which I had to cook myself?! Took me about ten minutes, I should have been bloody paid but whatever. Anyway we eat until we wanted to die, Annie: “my tights aren’t usually this tight they feel so so tight” .

We went to the cinema and watched “Mange Prie Aimer” , coulda been pretty good if I’d understood a word. We basically had a cheeky nap in the cinema and didn’t learn anything. Anyway beforehand, me and Jess went to the supermarket and I bought an absolutely OBSCENE amount of chocolate. We went on the self service till in fear of being judged. Anyway this resulted in me having to shove it all up my jumper/in my bra etc etc as it wouldn’t all fit in my bag. The tram home wans’t the proudest moment of my life to say the least…when I got up to get off at my stop, 5 packets of malteasers, 2 x 100g bars of “Crunch” chocolate, a massive bag of chewy sweets (closest I could find to maoams) and 5 packets of smarties all went flying onto the floor from inside my bra and jumper resulting in me scrambling around on the floor trying (desperatrely, mad I add) to pick up all the calorific goodies which are guaranteed to make me fat. I should have kept my pride (and my ever-ever-growing petite frame) and left it all on the floor for the many tramps here. Not fabulous.

A massive penis

So we went to an ERASMUS party last night. I had a bit of trouble arriving (as per) as the trams weren't running from my stop (probably on strike (as per)). This resulted in me having to walk about a mile into town, which turns out to be a cheeky case of serendipity as I met two French girls and walked and talked (French) with them all the way into town. The one gave me her number and said we should "prendre une verre". It was good practise for my night ahead. I arrived, albeit late (as per) and didn't manage to get a drink as the queue was massive. This declaration was amusing to the group of French people we were talking to as "queue" is pronounced the same as the French word for "penis". So us British girls gasping in shock exclaiming "oh my god you should see how big the queue is over there" didn't do us many favours regarding keeping up appearances.  In return, we explained to them why the tramstop "Vincent Saint Gache" was funny for us. However I warned them not to ever ever use that word as it's "tres tres vulgeur". Kévin decided to tell all these French people the "tres tres vulgeur" phrase I had taught him a few weeks ago (I blame my brother) whilst pointing at me as I hung my head in shame. It was a fun night and was great to speak French (albeit new vulgar words). I stayed at Jesses and we watched Sex and the City, where Carrie moves to Paris and misses the way things were at home... we continued to watch the final episode in the morning resulting in us absolutely blubbing our hearts out. I was not prepared for Sex and the City to be emotional, i'll tell you that now, but Good God. I cried like a bloody baby.

"She delighted in anything ridiculous"- Jane Austen

30^th September 2010

Another sweaty arrival on the tram; I really must OOZE sexiness when I’m wiping sweat off my forehead, stripping off having a hot flush. Went to a Licence 3 translation class with George Latissier today, where he used English words I didn’t even know myself. When reading out the register he read out Matt’s name as “Matthew Smell” (it’s Snell) which was absolutely hilarious for us, as we are very immature like that. Continuing with said immaturity, we’d dared Jess to read out the translation in the strongest Welsh accent possible. We were getting all hyped up and giggly when it was nearly her turn, but she didn't get her turn. We did a bit of a tricky translation, and he would write simple phrases/words on the board, for example, “c’était”, which really wasn’t necessary. However, when it came to pretty much the French equivalent of “Antidisestablishmentarianism” he thought he’d leave us to our own accord with that one. What a joker. Cheers George, nice one mate.

We ended the lesson translating a Jane Austen extract, upon research into Jane Austen I found a quote which really fits me well, in particular the latter five words.

"She told the story, however, with great spirit among her friends; for she had a lively, playful disposition, which delighted in anything ridiculous"
Jane Austen